When expecting, expect the unexpected

Being almost 20 weeks with our second baby, it has got me thinking deeper and deeper about all things birth! I have a vision, I have a plan, but if there is one thing I learned with my first is that babies will enter this world the way they want to!

A VBAC is on the forefront of my mind with this coming birth. I had dreamed and only prepared myself for an unmedicated, hypnobirth & vaginal delivery. Well boy, was it the complete opposite! Don't let my story scare you, d your research and feel prepared. Most importantly, find your support person or people and talk with them, trust in them, advocate for yourself and let them help advocate for you too!

Weston Rhett

"Well women your size or smaller have 10 lb babies, no problem, you won't need a c-section." & *softly exclaims "Oh, shit!"

Lets break it down. So that first statement, the most misdirected, false hope filled phrase I had heard my whole pregnancy. I am not sure why (maybe even thinking it so often, secretly ended up manifesting it into the world) but I kept having the feeling and need to express the fact that I may need or end up in a c-section. Well, that first quote I heard from not one, not two, but three different OBGYNs at my previous practice. I'll keep the story short-ish but basically I prepped so hard for a vaginal birth. Unmedicated, focused, calm, hypnobirthing techniques, doula classes, birth videos, all the things. I wanted a doula so badly and I even tried switching practices to a midwifery because I was just getting way too many red flags with the answers to questions I was asking the more research I did. But, this was the time of the VID circa 2020! So hospital restrictions were TIGHT and most midwiferies or birth centers weren't accepting new patients. So I unfortunately felt stuck.

Labor: Over 24 hours of inconsistent labor. Showed up at the hospital at 6cm. 26 more hours of labor, Pitocin, epidural (ain't no shame in that btw), peanut ball, pushing, lots of pushing like 6 hours of pushing (which is also against policy, yikes!) Exhausted, passing out in between pushes, oxygen, heart decelerations for both of us. It was it, they called it. I cried, I cussed, I went numb. Both emotionally then physically from that bolus lol. It didn't stop there. Weston wasn't in the correct positioning from the get-go. Back labor like a motherrrr and so many other signs. The doctor started making the incision and once opened up she softly exclaimed "oh, shit!" I responded with that exact phrase in the form of a question. Then I heard, "He is super wedged in your pelvis, you're going to feel a lot of pressure, but it should be okay." SHOULD, ugh! Well, there was a lot of pressure, a lot of wiggling, shaking, and a lot of worry in not only me but my husband's eyes (for the first time ever in 10 years). One person pulling and wiggling him out through my incision while the other pushed him back up through my birth canal, YOUCH! But, they got him out, he was okay, his cried was LOUD and spilled t relief we all so desperately needed in the OR.

We were in the hospital for about 4 days. He was great, I just needed monitoring for possible blood transfusion, Other than that everything was beautiful. I struggled A LOT with the outcome of his birth but I thank the Lord, the spirits, the whatever you can put your faith into, that he was healthy and we were both alive. Also, that breastfeeding was thankfully a breeze (2 & a half years strong)!

So why a VBAC? What will I be doing differently this time?

I just feel it in my bones that it is what I want and I am hoping that it is only a sign that a VBAC is exactly what's meant to happen. Also, to be honest, I heal like shit. From all surgeries, recovery never seems to be a breeze and within normal healing perimeters. That's a main factor and I hope that if I don't have major abdominal surgery that recovery will, not necessarily be easier or faster, but different. I hope that it allows me to be a little less limited but hey we will see. Also, just to reclaim the birth I didn't get to have with Weston.

What will I be doing differently, this go around?

1. I've been listening to the VBAC Link podcast since I found them a year after Weston's birth. The stories are so empowering and encouraging. Plus the knowledge and red flags you learn to look for are so incredibly helpful.

2. Hands down having a doula! I will specifically be looking for one that is certified in spinning babies, aromatherapy and hopefully has experience with hypnobirthing techniques.

3. Seeing an amazing Annapolis chiropractor who is Webster Technique certified! I have already noticed better sleep, less pain, my baby being in a much better position compared to my last pregnancy, so far. I am hoping the continued comfort lasts the rest of this pregnancy and through birth!

4. Leaning into my essential oils and methods from preconception all the way to post party. Don't worry there are more blog posts to come on this!

5. Most importantly, preparing for my desired outcome of birth as well as preparing a back up plan of the opposite outcome.

What if it doesn't work the way I hoped...again?

“We are the ONLY species of mammal that doubts our ability to give birth. Think about that."

So what if it doesn't go as planned? Then, it doesn't. There is no point in trying to fight it. There is no way to change it. I know I need to go in prepared, educated and be my own advocate. I need my plan in hand (I guess more-so mentally engraved) and trust my body and trust my baby. I need to lean into my support people too! Again, be prepared. Whatever that looks like, for whatever outcome. Flexibility is key. I may have my plan but my baby has her own.

No matter how you choose/chose to bring your baby into this world, you are a warrior! Don't ever doubt that. No birth is easier, no birth is more worthy.

You are strong, competent, and capable!